The Sex Guru
Remember Dra. Margie Holmes? She’s a psychologist I think? wait I’ll Google her. ( after 5 mins…) yes, she’s a clinical psychologist who holds a Phd. from Arneo and special studies in sex therapy and marriage counseling from a university in Hawaii. I got all that from her website. Anyway, I saw her giving marriage advice at a morning show in ABS and she’s really grown way older than the last time I saw her. Wait, I didn’t mean like I saw her in a patient - doctor set up, I just want to clarify that so it’ll be crystal clear. Not that I think there’s something wrong with seeking medical attention when you got something goin’ on with your sex life. I meant the last time I saw her on TV as well. Her hair has gray streaks now and she has mature lines written all over her face, especially around the eyes, which I think is a good sign because that means she’s a happy smiling person. But I digress. Again, I saw her on TV this morning and she was being interviewed by Edu Manzano. The topic was about what considerations one has to take before one should decide to get married. Dra. Margie, while being very informative, was a tad bit different. She made HUGE gestures with her hands, she spewed lengthy lines that at times were a bit off tangent from the topic (she even said that grooms making out with bridesmaids was a frequent occurance in weddings, it’s like a plot for really cheesy porn flicks), and she was, I don’t know how to describe it, overly zealous? it seemed like our friendly household doctor was on Prozac. Even the usually talkative Edu Manzano was looking funny at her, like he was also trying to spot what was wrong with her. Really weird. But as I’ve said, she still spewed lengthy informative advices on marriage. Some of the ones I remember are (and I’m paraphrasing here):
- Get married within your budget. Accumulating loans is not a good start for a juvenile marriage.
- Do not marry someone who has no plans of moving out of the familial home. A large percentage of couple’s quarrels can be traced back from the in - laws.
- Do not marry someone who is a flight risk. These are men with philandering history, women who are manipulative cheats and as Joey said in Friends, someone who is way hotter than you.
- Check each other’s medical history. While Schizophrenia or Bipolar syndrome should by no means be the deal breaker, it’s good to know that seeing your wife talking to herself is just her way of venting and isn’t a sign of anything complex or hereditary.
Aside from what Dra. Marge said, I’d also like to add my own unsolicited advices and these go for women who are planning to hitch on the domestic bandwagon:
- Of course for starters, make sure you’re both financially, physically and psychologically capable to handle the responsibilty of putting up the smallest unit of the society.
- Do not marry someone who hits/batters/kills animals. That is a sure sign that he has violent tendencies and you might end up like how the neighbor’s dog did.
- Do not start fights or serious talks with your drunk husband. It is always best to wait for him to get sober and clear headed so both of you can contribute effectively to the discussion.
- Keep your individuality while being interdependent. You don’t have to relinquish who you are to become what you need to be. A good mother and wife is someone who knows herself and takes care of herself well.
- Have your own savings/account/investment. While always hoping and praying that your marriage will stick around for good, it’s advicable to have something stashed away just in case.
- Seek professional help when there’s something wrong with your marriage. Sure, friends and family, even bloggers like me, can give you helpful advices. But problems are like snowflakes, they come in unique forms and own nuances and it’s still best to ask for expert opinion like those from Dra. Holmes.
Aside from Dra. Marge on Prozac, my other inspiration for this post is my friend Mel, who got married last saturday. Best Wishes Mel! 
